I went to visit my parents and my great grandmother (Who is in her 90s) yesterday while poodie stayed at home to work.
I arrived and my parents weren’t there and eventually after a load of dog barking, my great granny opened the door. It was so great to see her, it had been a month or so. Everything was fine, we were chatting away, and suddenly she says:
“So I hear you want to have children?”
“Yes, I do.” (Thinking to myself, why is this even a question)
“I don’t think it’s right. I don’t think it is the way to raise a baby if you live with a girl. A child needs a father. I don’t understand why you would… I don’t think it is fair on the child. It is selfish.”
Amongst other things said.
It took everything for me to be nice and calm and smile. (and in my head I was screaming out so many things).
Ok, it is 2015, I know that some people are very unaware of the incredible resources of the Internet, let alone use them, let alone begin to understand that my/our future babies will be so incredibly loved and happy and beautiful and cared for, and a hundred other things. How can you tell me that it is not right? How can you tell me, essentially, that my natural motherly instincts are going to be unfair to my future most adored beautiful baby? Would you rather have them drug addict parents who abandon their children or give them a lessor life, or two moms who love them so much and do everything possible share the world with them?
I am still quite shocked, it was out of the blue, and maybe these days, the younger generations are more evolved in terms of understanding and acknowledging people’s lives, love and their personal identities.
Sometimes all we can get is acknowledgement, and not acceptance. We take what we can get.
I guess I just feel that, whenever my /our future babies arrive, some people (in family) will not love them as I do, which is fine because that is their own issue (and it’s not their child either), but I feel discriminated against in a way, and it makes me want to show everyone that by exhibiting such behavior, you make it unfair on the child, not me. Why the need to subject such opinions which cause upsets. I am never changing my mind.
And why are people so upset that I want babies? It’s still a good few years away. And maybe they should first learn to fully accept me, and prepare theirselves for our not so distant marriage, because I think about that every single day.
Has anyone struggled with these comments? What did you do?
Meet Mrs Poodle 